I Got Nothin’.

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“I got nothin’.”

A few weeks ago I actually gave that exact answer. To my boss.

And somehow I kept my job.

It was at a football game, and our Athletic Director had just learned that all of his half-time entertainment had been cancelled. Since I am the coach for the high school cheerleaders, he asked me if we wanted to do a half-time performance.

I shook my head and said those three magical words: I. Got. Nothin’.

He looked at me for a minute, raised his eyebrow, nodded, and said, “Okay.”

And that was it.

Now, we both knew that saying I had nothin’ wasn’t exactly accurate.

I have 19 very athletic, very intelligent cheerleaders. They have been performing together since August – at games, rallies, and community events. And I have a shameful amount of cheer music – complete with sound effects – on my mobile device. They had 45 minutes before kickoff, so technically they could have gone into the gym and thrown something together.

So I didn’t have nothin’.

I shouldn’t have said I had nothin’.

What I should have said is, “I got nothin’ that’s worth doing what it would take to make that happen, Sir.”

(The “Sir” might have counteracted “I got” and “nothin’”.)

See, I knew that if I had tried to force my girls to put together a performance, it would have added a ton of stress to a night that was supposed to be a lot of fun. It was Senior Night – meaning we recognized some awesome boys at their last home football game.  We were playing our cross-town rivals – meaning the stands were packed on both sides of the field. And at the moment my AD asked me if we wanted to perform, my girls were busy painting their faces, putting special bows in their hair, and enjoying the weekly team dinner that was provided by our incredible cheer parents.

I didn’t want to mess that up. I didn’t want to take away from the stunts they had been planning for the quarter breaks. I didn’t want to take their concentration from the game and into making sure they remembered a thrown-together routine. I didn’t want to set them up for embarrassment. And I didn’t want to bring tension to an atmosphere that was remarkably relaxed.

But rather than explain all of that to my AD, himself a man of very few words, I simplified it.

And he got it.

The other day someone asked me why I haven’t posted a blog since July. My response? Yep, you guessed it:

I got nothin’.

But, again, that’s not exactly accurate. I mean, I have four children. My husband pastors a church. I coach 19 high school cheerleaders, nine high school dancers, and 39 elementary school cheerleaders. My husband coaches middle school football and high school baseball. And we live in a strange mountain town that has more elk than people.

So it’s not as if I am at a loss for subject matter.

It’s just that I had nothin’ that I felt was worth sharing.

That’s not to say there hasn’t been a lot going on. You don’t dive head-first into ministry without experiencing life-changing challenges and rewards. You don’t spend your days surrounded by adolescents without being impacted.

Right now, though, I kind of feel like Mary in Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

The heartbreaking challenges? They’re in my heart and I think of them often. The sweet rewards? Again, in my heart, thought of often.

But the words aren’t there.

I trust they’ll come.

When the time is right, when I am right, I ‘ll be able to share what’s been going on.

But for now, I got nothin’.

So I’ll wait.

Thanks for waiting with me.

See you soon!

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